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To the outside observer, as a sissy, I might appear to be troubled. That used to be true, thinking back to all the inner conflict. So much of my energy has been wasted trying to be what others wanted. To the vanilla world, it makes no sense that a man would want to forfeit their masculinity and be a sissy. I’ve grown up with a tidal wave of pressure to live the life of a traditional Alpha male, even if it’s not what Mother Nature had planned for me. At the cost of feeling like an imposter, I had tried to make everyone else happy with a charade, but as Ms. Divine would say, ‘once a sissy, always a sissy. Being a man felt so wrong, it made me sick inside, and I was very unhappy, eventually I had to admit the truth. I am not a man, or a woman, I am a sissy. Finally I have learned to take ownership of my sissy identity. I used to refuse it, but now it has become important to be my best sissy self. Getting to this point of acceptance had taken a lot of thought. It wasn’t only one thing. There are plenty of reasons why I am a sissy, here are some of those. 

Although assigned man at birth, from a young age I felt happier in feminine clothing. Before my misadventures dating woman, I was wearing panties and knew I couldn’t be a real man. The thought of wearing panties should have repelled me, but like a little fly drawn to a bright light I kept on going back. I had worn my sister’s panties, then my mother’s, then my girlfriend’s, my auntie’s, my friend’s wife’s. This couldn’t continue, I knew what I was doing was wrong. I felt like I was betraying them, I felt ashamed and desperate. It was here that being a sissy stopped being a frantic opportunity, as I had begun buying and wearing my own panties. It felt right for me and decided one night to purge all my male underwear and commit to the lifestyle of a sissy. There was no escaping it, no more resistance, there was only acceptance, and panties to wear for every day and occasion. 

Trying to date women was a mistake. I feel so silly for attempting it now. I like their company, but just as friends with shared tastes, interests and values. I know they are beautiful, but for me it feels inappropriate to be romantic with them. Real men lust and are attracted to women, instead I admire and want to emulate them. ‘That’s an amazing outfit’, I sometimes think, ‘where did she get it? How would I look in that when I buy it?’. It feels natural to be my effeminate self around women, being accepted by them is its own reward. In turn, I support and celebrate their promiscuous lifestyles. There is a shared confidence, she knows I cannot satisfy and I know not to even try. That’s what Alpha males do, and I should not get in the way when a woman chooses to couple with one. My sissy nature feels more at home in the boutique, not the marriage bed. After a woman has had fun with an Alpha, then my place is offer the gentle safety a sissy can give by my being feminine, flaccid and servile. I also want to be soft, pretty, sexy and desirable, so dating women makes no sense. Alpha males also know that I’m no challenge, and that I’m weak with no desire to change.

Meanwhile my relationship with men has become intimate. One of the best reasons to be a sissy is I get to pleasure real men. So I crossdress and only watch sissy safe porn. For my sissy benefit the women are respectfully blurred and I can focus on the bull’s movements, his muscle and manhood. Soon I had learned the names of my favourite ebony porn stars who I watched alone in my panties. I felt reassured by their masculinity, and knew that I could never please a woman the way they did. It was like the responsibility was being taken away from me, my sissy heart rejoiced at the thought ‘I won’t have to raise a family with an unsatisfied woman, I get to please these real men’. As I watched I understood more and more that what I had was a clitty. Soon even touching myself felt wrong, even when watching sissy safe porn. Eventually, I became flaccid inside my panties, and accepted that in a world of Alphas I was too fragile and should live as a sissy. Real men don’t know what cum tastes like, but I do. I never have confidence giving sex, and when I’m humiliated I feel I deserve it. I’ll never marry, this is lifestyle is for me, and after an Alpha has used me I like to be forgettable. Sometimes I’ll think ‘Well, are you going to take off those panties and go back to trying to be a real man again?’. No, it’s is better this way.